QUESTION FROM A READER:

 
Hi Dave,

My experience with online dating thus far has been mixed.  I'm signed up on 6 total sites (match.com, Yahoo personals, love.com, okcupid.com, matchdoctor.com, & americansingles.com, but only a paying member for the first 3).  90% of the luck I've had is
when girls have contacted me through love.com (they figured out my screen name since I signed up with it), and I am a decent looking guy.  It was about 4 girls total that I actually ended up seeing individually, and I hooked up with all of them, and slept with one of them.  That was cool.

What's not cool is that I have gotten only one response from someone that I've actually pursued, out of a total of 50 to 100 e-mails, so I'm obviously doing something wrong, or I've just weeded out 99 b!tches, depending on how you look at it.  What's your recommendation for that initial e-mail, as well as profile content?  I mean I got a good initial response but it's dried up for awhile now, despite changing pictures and altering a few things in the profile.  I would really rather be able to land the girls that I choose, and not the other way around.

I'm always hesitant to put LoL in my e-mails to girls because I don't want to convey uncertainty or whatever, but a lot of times sarcasm is missed when it's just words on a screen.  Please advise.

Thanks!
Eric, PA



MY ANSWER:

Eric, Damn man, you're signed up to a lot of sites.  If I were you I'd just stick with the girls finding you. 

Just keep doing what you're doing.

Just playing with you. :)

Seriously, if you're going to pay per site, then doesn't it make sense to get the most value for your money?

The only way I know how is by getting better results.

Heres the deal.  With the initial email you need to come off VERY different than every other guy.

Want a super neat way to find out a great 1st email?

Create a profile of a chick... just copy and paste a few girls profiles and find some cute picts on the net.  use a hotmail or yahoo email account and sit back.

I'll bet you a donut that you'll end up with 50+ emails.

So from there just look at the ones that really catch your eye.

Some of the emails will have you on the floor laughing.  I REALLY feel sorry for some of these guys.

Some things you should NEVER do:

1. never tell them your life story
2. never complain to them
3. never give them your sob story
4. never, ever ever ay anything about their looks

Some things you MUST do:

1. you have to be funny
2. you have to be different
3. MUST mention something about how odd internet dating is
( Hint:do it in a funny way)

Heres another thing.  I'm FANATICAL about testing, so right now you're probably just sending out emails but you really have no way of knowing whats working or not.

Create a TEMPLATE. 

You'll use this basic structure for ALL of your emails and you might "customize" it a bit with a line or 2 from their profile.

BINGO.  Now we're talking.

I've got all the templates completely written and ready for you to use. Plus my entire plan -- step-by-step.