Derek, what, if any, difficulties have you faced with women during your life?

When I was younger I had almost no skills with women. I didn't know how to act around them or what to do. Even when I found out that women were interested in me, I didn't know how to take advantage of the situation. Consequently, I missed out on a lot of opportunities.

I learned in chemistry class that the more you knew about the details of reality, the more "magic" you could do. For example, you could build firecrackers - something that would look like magic to a caveman - if you understood the elements on the periodic table and how they joined to form compounds. In fact, if you knew enough about molecular reality, you could build all sorts of useful things - like plastics, steel, synthetic rubber, and so on.

However, when it came to women it was apparent to me that I did NOT have a clear grasp on reality. My understanding of women and the dating game wasn't like having the periodic table in front of me - it was more like thinking that the four elements were wind, earth, fire and ether. I way applying Medieval-level technology to social situations and dating. It was really terrible.

I decided to take a long, deep look at myself and eventually became determined to improve myself in this area. Eventually, my efforts paid off.

Do you think it's healthier for men to seek relationships as opposed to sexual encounters with women? In other words, a girlfriend versus a one night stand?

People are at different stages in their lives. If you're young and inexperienced, having a few short-term girlfriends can be exactly what you need. Some guys need to experiment with different kinds of women and find out what kind of woman is right for them.

At another point in your life you may meet "The One", that girl who you feel is right for you. And you know she's right for you, because you can make an accurate, educated decision based on your past experiences.

In that case, you may want to pour your energy into nurturing a relationship with one woman.

And sometimes what starts out as a short-term relationship grows into a long-term relationship.

So the two goals are fluid and reflect one another - it's not an either-or situation. And one is not "healthier" than the other by nature. It all depends on where you are on life's path.

There is one caveat - if you meet a girl who is going to make you happy and all your senses tell you to have a long-term relationship with her - and you give that up simply to "prove" to others or yourself that you can seduce girls - then you're shortchanging yourself.

Seduction should be about finding YOUR happiness, not about getting an ego boost from your friends or simply to prove something to yourself over and over again. Seduction just for the sake of seduction for purely ego reasons without a wider goal can become unhealthy.

What do you see as common traps men fall into that make them unhappy with their love life?

The biggest trap men fall into is not being clear as to what they want. They end up settling for the first woman that "fall into their lap" and their relationship is one of convenience.

Of course, most men settle for the same with their work life, where they'll spend one third of their life. They don't know what they want to do and settle for the first job that comes their way. They settle into a routine that feels comfortable simply because it feels familiar. They don't take risks because of fear of the unknown and for lacking clear goals.

Sadly, most men never reach their life's full potential in either area. They *settle* for their unhappiness.

Of course, any guy can change that RIGHT NOW. They have to decide to identify what they really want from a relationship or multiple relationships, and turn their life upside down if necessary to achieve that goal.

SOON YOU'LL BE DEAD and it will all be over. Don't settle for anything less than what you want to achieve.

Of course, Seduction Science won't do all the work for you. But it's a great place to START. Click here to make that change right now.

Your Friend

Derek Vitalio is one of the leading authorities on How to Attract and Seduce beautiful women his book Seduction Science is highly recommended.