In this article I'm gonna ruffle a couple feathers.

I'm going to talk about something that many guys aren't even aware they have.

And that is - a fear of escalation.

A hidden "fear of escalation" could be hurting your success in the game.

One thing I hear from a lot of my clients is that they sometimes get the occasional "sexual gimme," but they didn't know what to do about it, and dropped the ball, so to speak.

Let me explain.

Sometimes women will think a guy's cute, or seems cool or whatever.

And if they are really horny, or maybe just want to feel validated, they will offer themselves to the guy.

One of my trainers, Heartwork, has his now-infamous "Dome Story."

A few years back, a really hot girl offered to "service him" in her car, but he didn't pick up on it and missed a golden opportunity.

This is actually pretty common.

I'm sure you've had situations, whether when you were younger, or recently, where you can look back and say, "that girl WANTED me and I blew it!"

I have a few stories of that myself.

I think there are three things going on.

First of all, you have to pick up on the signals. And believe me, if you don't know what to look for, it can be HARD to read women's signals.

You see, women keep their signals subtle. There's a reason for this, and once you understand it, you'll know EXACTLY what to look for.

Secondly, a lot of guys REALIZE that the girl is interested in sex, but they don't know what to do.

It's like the girl hands you "the ball" and it's your job to take it down court, but you don't know how to dribble.

You drop the ball.

You miss out on easy sex.

OUCH!

There's a third reason why guys miss opportunities, or as we call them, "windows of opportunity."

And I think it's really the underlying reason for the first two as well.

I think deep down, a lot of guys don't really believe they can rock a woman's world in bed.

I mean, you can rationally say, "OK, I can function sexually, and I know basic foreplay, and I'm good at this or that..."

But if you were about to go to bed with a woman right now, how sure are you that you can give her the highest levels of ecstasy she can experience?

How confident are you that she will be BLOWN AWAY by your performance?

If you can't say to yourself with complete confidence, "I can fulfill any woman beyond her expectations in bed," then I'm willing to bet this lack of confidence carries over in your interactions.

As our instructor, Brian says, "You are built for her pleasure."

What he means is that a man is perfectly designed to give a woman everything she needs sexually.

Your natural being - your energy, the way you think, and your body, ESPECIALLY your body (including your favorite "part" :) is all made to arouse and satisfy a woman.

So you should feel like you can satisfy ANY WOMAN.

If you don't, guess what...

You're going to be afraid to approach.

You're going to TRY to impress a woman during a conversation (instead of letting her impress you so that she can EARN sex from you).

You're going to fail to make REAL logistical plans (because you are scared of actually being alone with her and not being able to satisfy her).

And of course, you'll always be insecure in any relationship because you're not sure that she is satisfied with you.

Men who are sexually unsure of themselves deal with all sorts of problems, from approach anxiety, poor conversational focus, and failure to isolate when a woman shows a "window of opportunity."

And that's just in the pickup, the first interaction.

This kind of guy is also going to get really jealous of other guys his girlfriend talks to, because he's worried that the other guy will be able to satisfy his girl better than he can.

Oh and one more thing.

If a guy is unsure of himself in the sack, you can bet he's going to be BAD IN BED.

It's a chicken-egg conundrum.

You see, if a guy is unsure of himself sexually, that MAKES him bad in bed.

BUT if he is bad in bed, how can he become more sexually confident?

I think the main problem is that guys don't get enough "sexual practice."

And this comes from simply not being able to pick a woman up.

If you can approach, escalate, and get her alone, you can have sex with her. Unfortunately this is a huge challenge for guys, because

They Simply Don't Know What to Pay Attention To

Now when you don't have sexual confidence a woman can tell. Maybe she wouldn't put it in those terms, but she can tell there's some insecurity on your part.

And subconsciously she thinks, "this guy sucks in bed."

She'll lose all sexual interest, i.e. ATTRACTION.

Here's the thing:

Ultimately, if you find a woman attractive and you're talking to her, you want a sexual relationship.

The relationship is SEXUAL. Don't forget that.

So if you're not going for sex, there won't be a spark - it simply won't make sense.

You won't have the desire you need to move forward, and neither will she, because she has no incentive - there's no potential for sexual pleasure.

Vin DiCarlo has written The Attraction Code to help men achieve what they are looking for in women.