Nobody seems to appreciate anything until it's gone. And this concept couldn't be truer than in a breakup.

It is for this reason that when a girl ends it with a guy the first question that pops into his head is "how to win her back?"

Next he proceeds to gather advice from various sources such as friends and family. Finally, he sets out to repair his relationship.

Unfortunately, he sets himself up to fail from the start.

And do you know why?

Because his entire plan is based on the wrong question.

The truth is you don't win her back... you make her win you back instead (that is, if you ever want to be with her again).

So, if you happen to find yourself in a similar situation here are 3 pieces of advice to help you succeed where others have failed.

1. Become the man that initially attracted her

2. Stay away from her until she starts taking steps towards you

3. Give into her slowly so that she can fully appreciate what she's lost Now, let's go over the above in a little more detail.

First, you must become the man that initially attracted your ex. If you could make a side-by-side comparison of the contemporary you, the one that's been through the breakup, and the former you, the one that started dating your girlfriend, the differences would be striking.

And it's easy to see why if you take your underlying circumstances into consideration.

Right now you're in a great deal of pain. Everything you do or say is based on overwhelming emotions that lead you to act in ways that your ex (or any woman) finds unattractive.

So, how should you go about this? It's easy: concentrate on the aspects of your life that you did prior to getting into this relationship.

Before you know it you'll be back to your true self in no time.

Next, while you're getting back into shape you have to steer clear of your ex. I know it's comforting to able to each out to her even though you're not together, but you must avoid this at all costs.

All it does is thwart your efforts to get back into shape. You'll build an unhealthy attachment to someone you can't immediately have and this will turn you into a needy ex: the one person your girlfriend doesn't want to be with.

Finally, after you've accomplished the above she'll start to take steps towards you.

She'll do this because at this point you'll be the valuable one - the one that's both attractive and unattainable. Naturally, she'll want what she can't have.

Now, this requires a bit of tact, however, by letting her into your life slowly, you'll be able to transition from this breakup back into a healthy relationship over the next several weeks (depending on your underlying circumstances). Once you're back together you just need to continue this pattern in order to ensure you don't lose her again.

In conclusion, while this process is labeled winning a girl back the opposite holds true. The only effective way to get someone back is to build attraction in yourself first.

Only then should you (strategically) pass it on to her so that she wants to come back... and stay with you forever.

About the Author: George Karanastasis is recognized as one of the leading experts on men's relationship repair and creator of Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back - a book dedicated to helping men with their relationship problems.