QUESTION FROM A READER:

Here's my situation, and I'll keep it as brief as possible:

I wear hearing aids and I have difficulty hearing in typical social settings (bar, party, whatever) where there are a lot of people talking or music playing.  I also have some difficulty understanding women's speech over the phone, since they tend to speak softer or with a higher pitch.

Despite those perceived challenges, I have a great well-paying job, apartment, I have decent looks...  I try to stay in shape... .  and I can communicate just fine in quiet settings (i.e. at work, bookstore, in a park, quiet restaurant).   So all things considered, I do have pretty high self esteem and carry myself with a great deal of confidence.

When it comes to posting a profile, should I mention that I am hard of hearing?  I'm sure at least some women will automatically skip over my profile if I mention that.   I'd rather they meet me first and form their impressions from there, but if I don't mention it in the profile or in the initial e-mail conversation, is that being deceitful?   Or is the very fact that I would feel the need to mention it, can that be interpreted as a sign of insecurity?

I think these are tough questions to answer.  I'd be very interested in your take on this.  It almost feels like one of those Roe v. Wade Supreme Court cases that hinge on interpretation
of the law - or in this case, internet dating protocol.

Charlie



MY ANSWER:

Charlie, First off, thanks for the question.  I read this and I knew I had a great answer for you. 

I know a guy thats in a similar boat to you...he wears hearing devices on both ears, he’s not bad looking, good job etc.

This guy got more tail than....

He's good.  And he doesn't think of his lack of good hearing as an issue.

Who cares what anyone thinks?

Charlie, I think you're letting it be a problem and thus in some way you're giving the women that vibe like it is a problem.

I wouldn't mention it because you don't think its an issue.

Remember dude, chicks are like superheroes, they have special powers we DON'T have.  They're SUPER intuitive so if you got a problem with something, odds are she'll pick up on it.

So make it HER problem. 

You can say: "Hey, I can't hear that well, The good news is that if you say something REALLY dumb or blonde its a good thing cause odds are I wouldn't hear it."


That might work well.