Before we talked about "down-dating" and its potential pitfalls. In this article we're going to talk about the opposite of "down-dating", "up-dating", and the hazards that come with it.

Judging from the amount of emails that I get every week on this subject, there are many guys out there who would love to date women who are "better off" than they are. (Note: the reason I put these words in quotes is because I don't like to "compare" people. I'm only stating what people PERCEIVE in their heads, and not what I "believe" myself.)

They want women who are hotter, richer, or more popular than they are.

No problem. As I say all the time, attraction cuts through everything at the end of the day, and you can attract girls that are "higher" than you - IF you have the skills AND the self-esteem.

However, the reason why "up-dating" does not work for most men - even men who have the skills to get a rich girlfriend at the beginning - is because of a lack of self-esteem.

Let me ask you a question...

How would you feel if had to...

- Get your girlfriend to pay your bills.

- Follow your girlfriend around and be seen as her lapdog.

- Work under your girlfriend.

- Get crap from other guys because they think you're leeching off your girlfriend.

- See other guys hitting on your girlfriend all the time. (They're more handsome than you are and richer than you are...and they think she deserves better than you.)

You'd feel pretty lousy too, wouldn't you?

Even if you had a lot of self-esteem to begin with, if you're like most guys, your confidence would probably shrink over time and you'd start to act more needy and eventually push your girlfriend away.

In every "up-dating" case that I've seen or worked with, the guy who succeeds in the end usually has a HUGE amount of self-esteem.

There are two usual scenarios:

Most of the time, the guy will REALLY believe that he is JUST AS GOOD as the woman he is dating or married to, if not BETTER.

And because he BELIEVES in himself, he'll also work hard to chase after his own dreams and ambitions...and perhaps become even MORE successful than his girlfriend or wife in the end. (But not while he was attracting her.)

The other scenario is that he's a total loser who BELIEVES he's God and acts like it. He thinks he's a lot better than his girlfriend even though she has more money or power.

Either way, the man who successfully "up-dates" will have MUCH more confidence and self-esteem than the "average Joe."

So...if you would like to date a girl who's "hotter" or "richer" than you are (Once again, these are just perceptions...), I urge you to work on your self-esteem AND your dating skills.

Without good dating skills, you're not going to be able to create enough attraction for her to fall in love with you.

And without proper self-esteem, even if you DO get together with her, the relationship is not going to go very far.

Lastly, I strongly recommend you to not get into an "up-dating" or "down-dating" sort of mentality.

The truth is, if you think of dating a certain woman as "up-dating", then you're ALREADY putting her on a pedestal and giving her more power than you should.

Every human being should be equal, and you should not perceive a woman as "lower" or "higher" than you especially if you're going to date her.

Instead of worrying about whether you "can" date a certain woman, focus on "how" you can date her.

Work on your dating skills and practice flirting, teasing, and acting like a challenge.

Marius Panzarella is the creator of Dating Secrets Revealed: The Smart Dating System he is recognized as one of the leading web dating coaches and has helped over 60,000 men lead better lives and success with women